Marital Intimacy, Part 3

do I see as she is seen?
she was His before the first dawn
she was foreknown; determined to be known intimately
she will be securely held until she is triumphantly revealed
to sense the honor which she is due

do I see as she is seen?
one for whom He was stripped and beaten
one for whom the blood was spilt
one in whom His righteousness dwells
to sense the dignity He bestows

do I see as she is seen?
birthed by the Spirit, regenerated and renewed
gifted to magnify His name and renown
celebrated with choice wine and fattened calf
to sense His exceeding joy over her

do I see as she is seen?
His temple
His sister
His daughter
His warrior
His work
His ambassador
His vessel
His slave
heiress of His eternal kingdom
by grace, grant me eyes to see [1]

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Percentages escape me, but I’m fairly certain that every relational pain Janna and I have ever caused one another eventually comes down to respect. There have been times when I didn’t esteem her as a believing husband ought, I didn't allow my dominant perceptions of her to be ruled by Scripture. Our capacity for intimacy was crippled.

It all seems so impractical, theologically construed Pollyannaism – it won’t work in real life.

Maybe it seems so impractical, so foreign because we’re so unaccustomed to reordering our thoughts according to Scripture. Often my embittered, materialistic, self-protective perceptions dim the glorious possibilities of divine revelation. Who knows, maybe we lose sight of reordering our insides. Granted our minds are theologically trained, but is this truth being made evident in the core relationship of life – our marriage? It is no surprise that practical theology (a phrase I detest) exists solely because we’ve not allowed theology to discipline our day to day interactions within the created order.

You don’t know my spouse or our situation

Maybe not, but I’ve examined my own life and seen enough to know that we are infinitely capable of creating Springer-like drama. But no matter how murky the marriage may be, do not allow stress to dictate either the practicality or authority of Scripture. But they’ve done irreparable damage. Maybe, maybe not. Yet in either case, there are biblical mandates which dictate how we are to perceive the offending spouse.

Be sure of this, untamed and uninspired perceptions will create a status quo that chokes out God’s design for marriage. Meditate upon the word, capture the loose, unruly thoughts which ensnare our attitudes and actions. As an heir of His kingdom, grant your spouse respect and honor . Let God’s promised work lead us to cheer on their transformation, pray humbly for their faults, and nurture their gifts. Be wary of being the stumbling block, of pushing God’s timetable, of the endless ways we highlight their humanity. Receive and hold them with the dignity and delight that can only come through the strength and perspective of our Lord.

Grace and Peace

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[1] References are listed as they were ordered: Eph 1:4, Rom 8:29; Jn 10:28-29, Rom 8:19/Col 3:3, I Pet 2:21-25, 2 Cor 5:21, Jn 3, Titus 3:5, Eph 4:7-16, Lk 15:21-24, 2 Cor 6:16, Heb 2:11, Gal 4:6-7, Eph 6:10-11, Eph 2:10, 2 Cor 5:20, 2 Cor 4:7, Eph 6:6, Rom 8:17