What little I know about were I’ve been…The day after pancakes I began to fast:
No breakfast,
Check.
Resist urge to snack,
Check.
God, heal Josiah’s head,
Check.
I’m starved.
What time is it?
Exactly how long did I say this would last?
Cause his bone to grow,
Check….
In our journey with Josiah, I’ve recognized that it is entirely possible to practice both deprivation and devoted prayer without being mindful of either the Spirit’s rhythm or my own sense of faith. Void of divine leading, my initial fasting lacked any supernatural empowerment. I felt aimless and my prayers lacked boldness. There was a previous season when this level of fasting and prayer felt constructive, but this time it all felt odd. In the past, ample reward was attained through checking off my spiritual “to do” list. In effect, I felt good about my piety.
Frustrated, I continued to fast and pray not necessarily for Josiah to be healed but for God to show me His plan. There was a desperate desire to fast and pray under divine leadership. The overall heart of my request became “how do you want me to pray?” After days of asking, I felt encouraged one morning to begin praying for complete healing. There was joy in the fast. There was renewed boldness in the prayers. There was eagerness because it felt as if God had let me in on something.
As we drove to our appointment, I knew there was good news. To be sure, there was. Instead of the projected deterioration, the bone that had been brittle had begun to solidify. Every area surrounding the hole had regained strength. I believe that I was led to pray toward His will, that I was able to partake in the Divine Plan. Again, the primary intent of fasting is not simply abstinence from food. It is an ongoing interaction between the finite and the Infinite. A fast toward healing assumes a posture of dependence and submission; we are freed to follow and freed to believe.
Our faith matters unto God; belief that He will lead, belief that He is able, and belief in His purposes. We honor Him by our faith in His power and grace. For a moment, consider what you feel to be the boldest prayer you're currently praying. To what extent do you believe God can and will answer? [1]
For me, often times the attitudes behind my prayers expose latent feelings of doubt and fear, attitudes that are enslaved by the "here and now." In essence, "there's no way this can happen, God obviously hasn't moved so I've got to improvise". At times attitudes of bitterness surface, "God I know you can, but I doubt you will." In fasting and praying for specific situations we are seeking to purge our faith of the dross that often colors our deepest attitudes toward God.
In our journey with Josiah, I’ve recognized that it is entirely possible to practice both deprivation and devoted prayer without being mindful of either the Spirit’s rhythm or my own sense of faith. Void of divine leading, my initial fasting lacked any supernatural empowerment. I felt aimless and my prayers lacked boldness. There was a previous season when this level of fasting and prayer felt constructive, but this time it all felt odd. In the past, ample reward was attained through checking off my spiritual “to do” list. In effect, I felt good about my piety.
Frustrated, I continued to fast and pray not necessarily for Josiah to be healed but for God to show me His plan. There was a desperate desire to fast and pray under divine leadership. The overall heart of my request became “how do you want me to pray?” After days of asking, I felt encouraged one morning to begin praying for complete healing. There was joy in the fast. There was renewed boldness in the prayers. There was eagerness because it felt as if God had let me in on something.
As we drove to our appointment, I knew there was good news. To be sure, there was. Instead of the projected deterioration, the bone that had been brittle had begun to solidify. Every area surrounding the hole had regained strength. I believe that I was led to pray toward His will, that I was able to partake in the Divine Plan. Again, the primary intent of fasting is not simply abstinence from food. It is an ongoing interaction between the finite and the Infinite. A fast toward healing assumes a posture of dependence and submission; we are freed to follow and freed to believe.
Our faith matters unto God; belief that He will lead, belief that He is able, and belief in His purposes. We honor Him by our faith in His power and grace. For a moment, consider what you feel to be the boldest prayer you're currently praying. To what extent do you believe God can and will answer? [1]
For me, often times the attitudes behind my prayers expose latent feelings of doubt and fear, attitudes that are enslaved by the "here and now." In essence, "there's no way this can happen, God obviously hasn't moved so I've got to improvise". At times attitudes of bitterness surface, "God I know you can, but I doubt you will." In fasting and praying for specific situations we are seeking to purge our faith of the dross that often colors our deepest attitudes toward God.
In closing there is much to the phrase "what little I know about where I’ve been". In working the last several months out on paper, I’m processing most of this as I go. Certainly the interplay of prayer, healing, and fasting are anything but a science and I readily admit that there is a certain element of inherent mystery. This said, thank God for His healing graces and may our hearts be warmed to the God who heals all our infirmities (Psalm 103).
Grace and Peace.
_________
[1] Some have asked, "why fast and pray?" If God is going to lead where He will, why concern ourselves with fasting, faith, and prayer. On so many levels I appreciate the weight of this question and certainly some offer more exciting answers than I. They stress that in fasting and prayer we unequivocally move the hand of God, etc. And while I greatly appreciate the urgency these friends often exhibit in their spiritual practices, I find their theological framework consistently neglecting central themes of Scripture. As such, I cannot follow them into their more anthrocentic approaches to Christian living, etc.
My answer to this question: we fast and pray for the same reason the woman dances. Though she’s not ultimately in control, she can still enjoy the journey by being an active participant within the dance. She is not a lifeless partner void of expression, as such I fast and pray in order to sense the privilege of being led. I fast and pray, because faith honors God. I’m listening for His leading while boldly claiming His power to fulfill my deepest desire. I’m craving His purposes, while exercising bold faith and intimately sharing my heart.
Hey Jason, So glad that Josiah's bone is healing - Praise God! And I enjoyed reading about your fast and what God is teaching you. God Bless,
ReplyDeleteJennifer Hardin Vest